ernest

“A further sign of health is that we don’t become undone by fear and trembling, but we take it as a message that it’s time to stop struggling and look directly at what’s threatening us. ”

Pema Chödrön

 

After decades of working with addictions of all kinds, I continue to feel great empathy, and respect for the individual who takes the courageous first step to get help. This almost always inludes joing a 12 Step Program. I believe that AA, NA and other 12 Step Programs are the critical element to long term recovery for the addict and family and friends who have become co-dependent in relation to the addict. Along with a 12 Step group, individual therapy is almost always necessary.

Addiction is a lonely, painful, humiliating illness which can leave people feeling devastated, hopeless and alienated from friends and loved ones. It wreaks havoc not only on addicts, but on everyone around them.

Addiction Treatment

Making the first appointment is often the hardest part.  Is depression making one drink or is drinking making them depressed? After taking a detailed personal and family history, I engage the client in a kind of detective work. Together we investigate all aspects of the client’s pattern of using. It is only after doing this that we can ascertain what, if any, extra treatment is needed in conjunction with the therapy.

Once they begin a personalized treatment, the addict can work towards full recovery. Alcohol, drugs, pills, gambling, food, sex or spending no longer hold the addict hostage. “Clean and sober,” recovering addicts can regain their life and continue to grow emotionally, physically and spiritually.

 

Hospitals and Rehabilitation Centers

Willingway Hospital

Arms Acres

Hazelton

The Caron Foundation

“The alcoholic wraps himself around the bottle and the co-dependent wraps him/herself around the alcoholic.” Unknown

Essentially, the co-dependent loses their identity in the identity of the addict. The co-dependent becomes addicted to the addict in much the same way  the addict becomes addicted to the drug. The 12 Step group, Al-Anon immediately provides comfort, insight and education to the co-dependent.  Co-dependency is a very real disorder, and once the co-dependent is in treatment, they learn to:

• witness their reactivity and mood changes “caused” by the addict;
• start to take control over their actions and reactions as well as their moods, inspite of what the addict may be doing or saying;
• become self directed and make decisions that are not influenced by and are independent of the addicts behavior; and
• establish boundaries with the addict and start living their own life again, whether or not the addict is clean.

 

“Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it.”

Pema Chödrön

THE FIRST STEP—UNDERSTANDING

• We use drugs or alcohol for many reasons. In the beginning it can feel great, exciting, even transcendent! Sometimes we use to simply relax. We use to feel included, accepted, part of the group or to help when upsetting things happen. Sometimes we use to simply feel sane.

• Eventually however, no one seems to understand our situation, and friends and family often hassle us with recriminations and accusations.

• We become secretive and defensive in order to guard against these “unfair” attacks.

• Eventually we can become caught in a cycle of using and guilt. We feel we can neither live with our “friend” or without it. A pattern of using, shame, remorse, denial and using again ensues. We feel utterly powerless and hopeless.

GETTING HELP

• Taking the first step to get help is a courageous act of self-respect and faith. Maybe there is a better way.

• A safe haven that provides open and honest discussion is a must.

• My job is to provide this and more, such as acceptance and nonjudgmental compassionate listening.

• Understanding, knowledge and action organically grow from this type of secure and welcoming environment.

• Together, we explore and create a working plan for recovery.